This post can’t be written like an essay, because it is way to real and emotional to be put in a box. As an autism parent it is hard to write blog post and social media post because the emotions are way to raw and real for T.V and life. Also can’t be put in a box because all things can’t be fit in box especially if you the size does not fit. But wait because sometimes our feelings and thoughts are scattered everyone, yup we it’s just an autism mom thang.
As the “Twice Da Mom” I attended my sons first moving up ceremony. A moment that not even picture could describe the significance of this Sprinter’s debut in an inclusion setting. Yeah, yeah I attended his twin brother moving up ceremonies, but this one here was different and deserved a to be a “Twice Da Mom Red Carpet Event”. Yup the school should had hired me as the event planner because celebrating milestones for ALL kids deserved a bit of a grand experience, well that’s how I envisioned it for my Sprinter. Yup pull out the red carper, elegant decor and some music to set a positive vibe.
I sat at the 2nd row to see my son full of happiness, excitement and just this sense of pride that we (my family and I) were there to celebrate him and his developmental growth. I could not stop staring at him because I just could not believe that he has been in public school for 3 years on an ed plan and has never had a moving up ceremony nor an award ceremony. Meanwhile his twin brother has had 3, counting this one and he his twin was just put on an ed plan for ADHD. I remember Sprinter 2 always saying to me “I wanna be better like Siah” because he knew they were developing differently. When he would say this it felt like daggers going into my heart. He has been in a subseperate setting until this school year where he started in a Kindergarten inclusion class. I simply sat back and cried happy tears because this was his moment to shine, his moment to celebrate his growth, his moment to be the happiest person in the world and simply shine bright like a diamond. I cried because I had a lot to do with his growth, oh yeah so did the school and service providers. But this Mom here put in some work to help him get where he is today, by advocating hard, crying in the isles at Wal-Mart/Target/Supermarkets and then gaining my power back as a parent. Honestly, I can’t even describe in words how this moment felt because it was just so freaking beautiful to this Autism Sprinter celebrate his milestones. But then I wanted to let go tons of balloons to celebrate “no phone calls in a few weeks/month” of behavior issues, yup those calls where brutal and quite frequent. Yes I often felt like I failed as parent, but then I had to remind myself that no one is to blame.
I am one proud mom of twins that have different diagnosis of autism and ADHD. I looked at my sons and repeatedly thanked god for keeping me grounded by not giving up my power as a parent and my faith for hope. I am so not ready for 1st Grade problems, but am ready to fight for my sons rights. Today was intense and am just honored to be an “Autism Sprinter Mom”. Now enough with all this mushy stuff, let the “Get Live Crew” start off the summer with some grilling and sensory fun. Meanwhile this mom is putting her armor to mentally gear up for the fight in the upcoming school year.
Twice Da Mom